The Art of Giving Feedback on Voice
The right and wrong way...
Hi everyone and happy Monday,
This week, I want to talk about feedback—specifically when it comes to our voices.
I recently had a consultation with a client who shared a frustrating experience. After sending a voice note into a WhatsApp group full of senior colleagues, her CEO forwarded it back to her. Minute by minute, second by second, he pointed out every instance of “uptalk” (that rising intonation at the end of a sentence that can sound unsure). His intention may have been to help, but the approach? It left her feeling embarrassed and more self-conscious than ever.
Here’s the thing: we often use uptalk as a way to shrink ourselves, to soften statements or avoid being too direct. Pointing it out in this overly detailed, critical way does more harm than good—it reinforces self-doubt rather than fostering growth.
If we want to help someone improve how they use their voice, we need to make the feedback about them and how they feel, not just the end result. Here’s an alternative way to approach this kind of feedback:
Ask about their feelings first:
Instead of jumping straight into what you heard, ask them, “How did you feel sending that voice note?” This opens up a conversation and allows them to reflect on their experience.Gently point out what you noticed:
You might say something like, “It felt like maybe you were a bit nervous. I noticed some uptalk—do you think that might be it? Or do you think it could come from feeling unsure?”Offer encouragement and actionable suggestions:
Feedback should empower, not discourage. You could say, “Next time, try taking a deep breath before you speak and really back yourself. I think you’ll find that helps ground your tone.”
This way, the person feels supported rather than scrutinised. It’s a collaborative effort to help them find their voice—not someone pointing out flaws with a red pen.
Remember, our voices are deeply personal. The way we speak reflects who we are, our emotions, and our experiences. Feedback should never feel like an attack; it should feel like an invitation to grow.
How we give feedback is just as important as the feedback itself. If we focus on making the person feel seen, heard, and supported, we create space for real change.
Have you ever received feedback on your voice that stuck with you—for better or worse? I’d love to hear about your experience.
Wishing you a week of confidence and clarity,
M x
