Hello All and Happy Monday,
I speak to many clients about how the goal in communication and/or leadership skills isn’t to change their voice, but to question habits they hold and ask whether it serves them in various situations.
I decided to do the same for myself this week.
I took a moment to unpick and reflect on some of my own habitual tendencies I have as a facilitator and thought it may be interesting to share some of those with you today.
Does that make sense?
If I had a pound every time I asked this question both in private and professional settings, I would be a millionaire by now.
Part of me is so embarrassed that this is part of my lexicon of habits as it feels so generic…
but, it is my habitual phrase. I use it when I need to know that I am being listened to- (I know, lots to unpack here!)
Specifically, I use it when I can tell I’m getting very excited about a topic and I want to ensure the room is with me. Other times, I use it when I feel like I may have been taking up too much space over-explaining an exercise.
Either way, I know better than to use this phrase.
It’s usually greeted with a polite nod even if the honest answer is “no”.
Or, I am usually making perfect sense but may have lost someone’s attention for a moment.
This brings me to the second habit…
It must be about me
I have a moment of tightness every time I see a student giggle when making eye contact with someone else in the room.
I habitually and instinctually believe they must be laughing about me, something I said, something that they are then taking with them out of the room, they’ll speak about it at lunch…
and before I know it, my ego has led me to believe that I am one of the most important topics of conversation in these people’s lives.
Usually, I stop my intrusive thoughts from leading me too far down the path.
But, it is still a habitual response that I would like to break… especially considering how much I encourage laughter!
I want to offer everything I know all at once
Perhaps linked to the above habitual tendencies, I also have a habit of wanting to share everything I know all at once.
Specifically, when I’m asked a question about a topic I’ve recently reflected on or grappled with.
I could do with reminding myself in those moments how there is such a thing as overloading the room with information. While it’s usually done out of excitement, I wonder if I can be more intentional about how much I offer to the room depending on the objective of their learning that day.
Perhaps this habit also stems from a need to demonstrate I have an answer, and prove to those whom I am faced with that I am some sort of expert (again, plenty to be unpacked!)
I hope this moment of transparency has inspired you to unpack any unhelpful habitual tendencies you may hold in your practice.
Cheers to forever learning!
Have a brilliant week and see you Monday.
M x